A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed. A fellow came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "150." So the robot proceeded to make conversation about Quantum physics, string theory, atomic chemistry, and so on. The man listened intently and thought, "This is really cool." The man decided to test the robot. He walked out the bar, turned around, and came back in for another drink. Again, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man responded, "100." So the robot started talking about football, baseball, and so on. The man thought to himself, "Wow, this is amazing." The man went out and came back in a third time. As before, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "50." The robot then said, "So, you gonna vote for Bush again?"
Joke 2 For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson's arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out into the corridor. Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, clothes dusty and torn, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent. He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and aware that all eyes were upon him, said: "I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs in the subway. I nearly killed myself!" The boss looked at his watch and said, "Rolling down two flights of stairs took you a whole hour?!"
Joke 3 Due to a minor glitch in the celestial time-space continuum, Albert Einstein, Pablo Picasso and George W. Bush all arrived at the Pearly Gates simultaneously. Saint Peter said, "You look like three famous people, but you have no idea the length people will go to sneak into Heaven. You must prove who you are." Einstein requests a blackboard and chalk, then covers it many times over with arcane mathematics describing his special theory of relativity. Saint Peter is impressed. "You really are Einstein! Welcome to heaven!" Then Saint Peter turns to Picasso. "Give me that chalk," says Picasso. With a few deft strokes he creates a stunning array of bulls, satyrs and nude women. Saint Peter applauds. "You really are Picasso! Welcome to heaven!" Saint Peter then turns to George W. Bush. "Einstein and Picasso have proved their identity. How can you prove yours?" Dubya looks bewildered. "Who's Einstein and Picasso?" Saint Peter sighs. "Come on in, George."